a promise is a promise

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and i promised my bff, the one and only carolee sherwood, that i would be a better blogger. so here i am. being a blogger. and here is the poem i wrote today. the poem that made me say to my poetry pal, if i can do it, you can do it. so do it.

 

I Do Not Want to Hang Around Forever in This Body

At the same time this thought appears like a ghost
in a dim hallway, I realize I have a first husband.
I can say that now. My first husband. My first wedding.
Until I make a date with Buddha it is unlikely I will stand
among the crowd at my graveside and whisper
“in my first body…”  Talk is cheap 

(not worth putting lip gloss on) when you’re a ghost.

If cats could talk. Like a Pharoh’s pet, could speak after they’re dead
would the three legged cat say, without pause,
when I had four paws. Lying in a hospital bed,
hand swollen with some infection (mersa, heartache,
instant karma), does the first husband answer the phone,
cover it with his goodbadhand, say to the nurse
(or the first new girlfriend),
it’s my first wife.

I was never comfortable winning
the race. When I am first,
someone is always second. Every loser gives birth
to a winner. I’m not in it to win it.
That’s the first thought I have after
I first understand:
I do not want to hang around in this first body forever.

*************************************************************************

i am not in love with the line breaks.  and there are some words that need to come out.  but it’s a drafty draft.  like a window without insulation.

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4 responses »

  1. Hi, just stumbled upon your site in the UK.

    ‘ When I am first,
    someone is always second.’

    This has singlehandedly changed my day.
    I’m thankful I found it and I am thankful you wrote it.

    Thom

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